Rudy Owens’ memoir on the American adoption experience
© 2017 Rudy Owens. All rights reserved.
‘Who am I?’ ‘Where do I come from?’ ‘How much of my present reality is controlled by heredity and how much is controlled by my environment?’
—Rudy Owens’s Statement, 1988
The urge to know one’s kin and ancestry is not just a basic human desire. Seeking our identity lies at the root of self-awareness and our meaning in life. For those who have been brought into the world as adoptees, by circumstances they did not control, this desire is the incessant drumbeat. It bangs inside one’s head, loudly and softly, but always audible so long as the question is unanswered.
Those who deny that “blood is thicker than water” know nothing of this siren song. For an adult adoptee or a birth mother who have their biological kinship severed by the institution of adoption, this old phrase has sharper meaning. Unfortunately, the American adoption system’s denial of records to most US adoptees forces them to defend these natural feelings to those who have never felt such cravings—and never will. Justifying such deep feelings can be thankless, and adoptees are asked by the country’s largely pro-adoption culture to be thankful for having been robbed of core connections that define their humanity.
Return to Chapter 5: Knowing You Are Adopted: Just Look in the Mirror
Read More: Chapter 7: Legalized Discrimination Against Adoptees: The Demon Behind the Problem